WTF?!?
I have no idea why all my posts are empty. I’m trying to figure it out.
Humor
Exciting Dream #3 and a Theory
Dreams are necessary to life. — Anaïs Nin In real life, I’ve been waiting on some packages to arrive. I dreamed they arrived. At the same time. One was even early. That’s how I knew it was a dream. I’m pretty sure that I’d be the hardest person to Inception ever. If anything–anything–out of the […]
Exciting Dream #2
Dreams are the touchstone of our character. — Henry David Thoreau I had a clogged shower drain. I couldn’t decide whether or not to snake the drain or go to the store to buy Draino. Got goosebumps yet?
Exciting Dream #1
It takes a lot of courage to show someone else your dreams. — Erma Bombeck I have dreams. I don’t mean the “I want to be an astronaut,” sort; I’m talking about literal while-you’re-sleeping dreams. Everyone does, but some of mine are…special. Especially boring. Some people have paralyzing nightmares; some people dream in abstract, flowing […]
The Loneliest Baby
If I truly loved my daughter, I wouldn’t potty behind a closed door.
The Hunger Game
At 17 months old, my daughter Harper decided that the only food she would eat was graham crackers. They are good—I like mine with a little extra honey smeared on top. Obviously, I’m not the most nutritionally-aware mother, but I know that fruits, vegetables, and protein are all better for a growing toddler than honey […]
In Which Knitting Darn Near Became a Necessity
When you call Gas and Electric Company X and say, “I’d like to turn the gas and electric on in our new house,” you would expect them tell you if they are not able to supply gas to your house; that’s Company Y’s job. Nope. The lady just said sure, no problem. So when my […]
Future Leaders of America on Current Events
Two gems from the essay midterms I graded today– “Now that Jorge W. Bush is President…” “Several years ago Bill Clinton lied about having sex with Hilary.” I’d lie about that too.
Ted the Toddler-Sized Turkey
I am on vacation. I am also sick. But this is better than being at work and sick. Yesterday, Matt and I celebrated our first anniversary. He took me out to dinner, and we had a very nice time. Apparently, every year Kroger’s sends out free-turkey coupons to everyone with a Kroger card who also […]